Radient Purpose

My daughter is taking Calculus at college. Two hours nightly she works through problem sets with her father; he in Concord, my daughter in Vermont. It is hard, hard work given her challenges with numerical sense; an outcome of trauma to her left lobe. I remember slogging through partial differentials with my father, face to face, as an engineering student. It was hard work and math was a strength. This tenacious purpose -- to make good in Calculus -- to enable her to go to vet school gives ME strength. It allows me to sleep at night, knowing that this purpose burns in her.

I am dreaming of having a purpose and I think it is about identifying all the digital appliances (soft and hard) that can automate the things that are hard but trivial. Isabel forgets where her phone is. There's an app for that. Her concept of time is completely different that the world around her. A shower can last for 60 minutes. Days and weeks seem to be inter-changable. Meals are often missed. There must be an app that corrects for this. Perhaps my instantaneous decision to go to engineering school, +30 years ago, was a preparation. Likewise, my husband's mathematical talent was a gift in preparation.

Blazing with Potential

Remember that when I first began this sporadic blog, I used the phrase 'blazing with potential' to describe the Winsor girls, en mob, at a Roxbury Latin play.

And Isabel seemed so angry at the mob, and the scene, and I felt her anger and my own.

And now a phone call with Isabel is deep with moments of potential. A concern or brief annoyance or even anger that turns soft and aware so quickly. Her growing wisdom of herself and the world feels inevitable. She listens deeply and connects. I hear here becoming stronger and clearer about what she can become. Her deep, deep keel and abundant creativity makes her blaze. I love you dear Isabel and all that you are.

Immense Presence

My daughter announced she was going to Montreal.  Finis.  I fretted and devised alternative plans - try staying in Cambridge for a weekend - close to home.  She said "I am going to Montreal".  She went to Montreal. She had a memorable weekend. My daughter can go to Montreal.